5.10.10

Extremely imperfect

So the reason I think I haven't written lately is that I've been pretty down on myself these days. I've felt uninspired to write anything. It kind of seems like a lot of people around me have been down on themselves too, so maybe it's contagious or something. I don't know. I just know that it's been a bit harder than usual to live with myself lately. Sometimes I start feeling like I'm the very same person making the very same mistakes as I was, well, really since forever. It can be hard to see growth or progress or anything encouraging about myself sometimes. My friend Leland is good for that though - he occasionally asks people, what's one characteristic about yourself that you like? Just so we're not always so negative. (Maybe it's because he's not around right now that it's been harder, hadn't thought of that.)

I also sometimes can second-guess things or doubt things or wish things were different or think of what ifs, but I know that none of that is healthy for me. I have a million things to be grateful for, so I need to learn to stop spending so much time on the relatively very few things that are wrong. My friend Sarah posted this passage on her facebook this morning and it really encouraged me:

"Not that I have already obtained all of this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

Also, my sister Lindsay has recently been coming out of a hard time and said one thing that helped her immensely was just taking care of herself - sleeping enough, taking vitamins, things like that. I started exercising which is good, but I'm definitely lacking sleep and not really eating well. On top of that, I had a sinus infection last week. So that's one thing I could do better is just get some rest and take care of my body.

Anyway, thanks for reading and for those of you who are praying for me. I know I'll have more to write soon - I just need to get out of this funk first. Love you everyone!

1 comment:

Dorinda said...

Okay, funny memories... Remember when you girls were making those brownies with Jen S.? And when you girls hung the cheese graters over Lindsay's stove as "decorations" and she thought you girls were serious? Do you remember the time that Elia seriously shared during one of our random praise and prayer times at Tracy and Lindsay's house? He must have been 2-3 at the time? But he was digging through his little Bible to share with us what "God's been teachin' me."

Oh well - funny things to help you laugh and get out of your funk! Glad you're reading the Word! Watch out for the enemy. Discouragement and negativity are some of his most subtle tools. I know. I've been fighting them the last couple weeks. er, make that months.